One of my character traits that I've often viewed more as a flaw is the ability to feel for what people are going through. I was told that my spiritual gift is that of mercy. Now any one who has this as their predominant gift will understand. Being told you have the gift of mercy is like having a sister who's known as the pretty one and you're known as the nice one. I suppose that's a wrong way of looking at it. Having this as a spiritual gift can at times leave you feeling like you're on an emotion roller coaster. Heck, just being a woman can leave you feeling that way let alone adding anything to it.
Today on the way home from a friends house we were about 1 mile from the Pine Creek exit when there was this huge boom. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw that a dump truck had blown a tire and was pulling over. I felt so bad for this driver. I actually started to tear up over it! What the? What is wrong with me? He probably had a cell phone and it was a truck out of Montoursville so he wasn't that far from help. Plus a car pulled over to see if he needed help. Now my Dad is a truck driver so that might have something to do with my emotional response to his situation, but still.
Another situation comes to mind from when I was a teenager. There was a couple a little older then my parents at the church we attended. The husband had lung cancer. He eventually went into remission but the cancer had done so much damage that he ended up dying anyways. When he was in the hospital basically just going through the death process we went in to visit them. He was pretty much in a comatose state and his wife seemed very peaceful about it all. We were out in the hall while my parents were talking to her and I was doing my very best to keep it together. Trying to keep my face turned and looking off into the distance so no one would see me blubbering. Well try as I did, it was noticed. His wife grabbed my hand and held it as they finished talking. Now there was no emotional attachment to these people for me. They were just people who I would see at church and that was for only about a couple of years. Anyways I felt like a fool standing there unsuccessfully trying to keep it together.
After he had died we went to the viewing and when we approached his wife she immediately grabbed my hand again and held it tight the whole time my parents and her talked. Now for the viewing I was emotionally stable and not blubbering, but she still for some reason held on. I'm not sure what took place between us, but there was definitely something unspoken. Something that perhaps couldn't be said with words.
Having mercy and empathy popping it's head out where ever it likes can definitely be humbling or even humiliating at times. There are a handful of things we as people do that we don't want an audience for. Crying is one of them...that and going to the bathroom, but having children has kind of numbed me to the latter though. I don't know if it seemed odd to her that a 16 year old who didn't even know them that well was so emotional over what was happening or not. I guess that doesn't really matter.
Now the incident with the truck driver blowing a tire may have been more under the class of sentimental emotions then a spiritual gift displaying itself, but the other has left no doubt in my mind.
I know exactly how you feel..... been told my whole life I am too sensitive and sometimes I wish I could hide my emotions better!
ReplyDeleteEven though its hard being this way I figure its got to be better than being really cold or too cynical. I am sure that lady was really moved by you and that seems like a pretty good gift to me :-)
I don't know why you would have thought to say to me that I would have a field day with this post. Your story is quite moving and otherwise entirely benign as far as I can tell. Only if you said that empathy is reserved for the pious alone would I have any objections to make.
ReplyDeleteIts not a weakness when your emotions show visibly and shame on anyone would might wish to ridicule or take advantage of someone so inclined.
I just figured you'd have something to say about mercy being a "spiritual" gift is all.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I was being overly defensive concerning your reading of this post.
I wonder what that truck driver's reaction would have been if he knew that crazy lady in the mini van was so moved by his situation. He'd probably wonder what wrong with me too :-)
I agree...you are merciful...you do care for people...you do feel others' hurts. You are good at that. It makes you a great friend. I'm glad to be a recipient of that care so many times. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteBecky wrote:
ReplyDeleteI just figured you'd have something to say about mercy being a "spiritual" gift is all. Perhaps I was being overly defensive concerning your reading of this post.
My position is that of an anti-theist, not anti-spiritualist. Spirituality by itself does not presume there is a god. The transcendental itself is as much a part of the lives for anti-thesists and atheists as anyone else. It certainly isn't the sole possession of the pious.
I don't understand why you should feel like you need to be defensive at all. If you have proof that there is a god, just prove it and there won't be any reason to debate it anymore. Plus you'll be incredibly famous, because, no one has ever done so in the entire recorded history of humanity.
I don't understand why you feel the need to debate the issue with me at all. You've expressed your beliefs and I accept them. I don't intend to try to change your mind about it. That's not my job.
ReplyDeleteDo you feel the need to debate the issue to bring light to a "truth" you believe or do you debate it so strongly to keep yourself convinced it's true?
It's not my job to prove God's exsistance or abilities...that's His job. When something spiritual takes place what proof is there of it? The proof is between the people involved and my proof of God for myself has taken place between me and Him. My intimate relationship with Him is between no one else but me and Him. To try to prove it to someone else would be me casting my pearls before swine...and no I'm not calling you a swine, it's an analogy.
You've always been a prideful person dear brother and that is has been your "fall". You feel as though you have no need for Him outside yourself and have convinced yourself He's not real.Someday sooner or later you will come to a point or place where you will have need of Him. I pray for you that when that day comes you will finally and truly accept Him.
I say all this with love because dear brother I do love you and it deeply saddens me to know you've given up on Him. God is not angry or hateful towards you because you've rejected Him. He's patiently and loving just waiting for you. Like it or not He is extending His grace to you every where you turn. You can run but you can't hide from his love.
My desire to debate about this, whether casually or in earnest, is from the very basic motivation to share and enlighten each other's minds in the pursuit of truth and beauty. You don't have to debate it with me, but I don't see the harm in doing so. At the very least, if your beliefs are true you should not have any difficulty holding that position in conversation. Besides which you have the added bonus of the opportunity to enlighten me on it.
ReplyDeleteIt does not require any effort or prostration to maintain unbelief. Non-believers require no special observances, regular meeting times, or ceremonies. To the contrary, it is the pious who flee to their rituals designed to embolden each other's faith in the face of mounting evidence contrary to their belief.
Becky wrote:
ReplyDeleteWhen something spiritual takes place what proof is there of it?
I don't think spirituality is events that take place. However, going by your own description, if the quality of compassion or empathy is spiritual, and the event is your feelings of distress at the misfortune of your truck driving friend, my proof is your distress itself. The proof of your distress would be the visible signals of emotion; blotched cheeks, your strawberry birthmark, and tears. By exhibiting that dispositon consistently, you prove that is the way you are made. Of course, you might have been lying about way you feel and faking the symptoms of your distress, but I don't think I need any faith to dispel all doubts of that and safely take you at your word.
Becky wrote:
ReplyDeleteIt's not my job to prove God's exsistance or abilities...that's His job.
Thankfully neither am I. Even more thankfully, there is no evidence to believe there is a god whose existence or abilites would need to be defended in the first place. However, you do make truth claims based on an intimate relationship you share with your invisible friend. I don't think you need to prove god exists to enjoy that private relationship, but you alone are responsible for truth claims you make, not god. And if the basis for your truth claims is god, and some listeners to whom you convey your claims do not believe in god, you should not be offended when they challenge you to prove the foundation of your argument.
Becky wrote:
ReplyDeleteYou've always been a prideful person dear brother and that is has been your "fall" ... I say all this with love because dear brother I do love you.
I am offended by this. How dare you tell me what kind of person I am based on my unwillingness to accept the incredible without evidence, and then turn around and tell me that you've slapped me in the face out of love. I did not tell you that you have some deficit in your personality because you do have a willingness to accept the incredible in spite of proof to the contrary. Before you utter such contrivances and expect to be taken seriously, you had better dig up the evidence that proves god exists before saying my unbelief is prideful. Thankfully there is no proof of any god from which I might need to run or hide.