Ridiculous Sounding

Have you ever had something happen that if you were to explain it or tell someone you just know they would give you that dumb stare back. There are certain daily rituals and also occasional things that happen in our lives that would cause such a reaction with people. My life is definitely full of things like that. So is my mom's.

For example (written in a southern Alabama accent) My mama's got two cats dat ur so fet dat she's gotta worsh thar be-hinds every udder day coz them too fet to do it thumselves. Every time thez hear dat thar wadder drawin and see mama comin with the worsh cloth theyz high tailz it as fast as thayz can waddle. Don't belive up til now I've ever hurd a cat purr and growl all at the same timez afore. Good thing us peoples has higher standards of livin udderwize dat would be inappropriate. That thar be a wurd I tuaght my children...i.n.a.p.p.r.o.p.r.i.a.t.e.

Anudder time I had a bardie and I named dat thar bardie, Bardie. I does believe I done did teold dis story already but I says it again. That thar bardie done did died one day so's my mama done did put dat thar bardie in a check book box and put him in da freezer just so's I could come up and says good bye to em. Dat plus the ground been to frozen to bury em and she thoughts to herself dat flushing em might not be the bestest of idears.

Which brungs me to anudder story. My mama done did get herself a new nickname...we'z be callin her Miss.Kitty and it ain't coz Marshall Dillon be sweet on her none. See's her septic system done did get plugged...and while she be waiting for the huney wagon to come and pump er out she done did get herself a bucket with sum kitty litter. Let's just be sayin dat them thar fet cats ain't the only thing she be scoopin after.

I has one more story and it's about my daddy...and it's why we call him Tator...welp, maybe's I'd better not...I'm probably in enouf troubles as it is.

Moral to my strories is I comes by it honest.