We never much like hearing things about ourselves from others that rings a little too true or hits a little too close to home. Many times though those around us can see these things we don't, or in most cases, those things we choose to ignore. When first being confronted with some of these things we tend to react first by becoming a little perturbed with the person or thinking that they are way off base when in fact they are dead on...ouch!
I had a moment just like this the other day with none other then my husband. Unfortunately it was one of those times where he was doing the confronting and the bringing to light...again I say ouch!
His complaint was that lately when he comes home from work all I do is complain about my day. "This went wrong...the kids did this...the kids didn't do that like they were told...blah...blah...blah". He said it seems lately all I have are bad days. He doesn't enjoy working long and hot days where he comes home exhausted to me doing nothing but...well, dare I say it?...yes I dare...bitching. Right now if you were to look up the meaning of my name it would say, "One who bitcheth". He said that when he is home all I seem to do is yell. Now don't get me wrong, he wasn't saying any of this like a jerk but rather as something that's been wearing on him. I'll admit it...most all of his complaints are true.
Another complaint is why the house is always a mess. Now messes usually don't bother him but when it's in a constant state of disarray is when it starts to grind on him. I'll also admit I've been failing when it comes to enforcing cleaning up with the kids. The problem is that I want them to clean up while I do my work, but when they are left alone to do a job they mess around until two hours have passed and the room is still a mess. I need to start supervising what they are supposed to do until it's done and if they mess around I'd be right there to dish out the immediate punishment. I don't want to have to do this because it takes away from my time...my work I could be getting done. I'd like to think after a while they will get to a point where I don't need to hoover over them to make sure they do what they are supposed to.
I'll also admit I've been feeling worn down. Worn down from the bad attitudes...from the constant battling with them to help out...the feelings they have of being entitled to only the things in life that are fun...worn down from not having my help mate around like I used to. While camping, when Evie would start to wander off and I would yell for her to come back she would just either ignore me or look back and smile. At one point one of the other parents yelled for her when she wouldn't listen for me and she came running...pathetic! Don't even get me started on how they acted when we were packing up to leave and some of the others were going swimming again before leaving. They had no idea what it took for me to go camping for three days by myself, and what's worse is...they didn't care. They have an "It's all about me attitude". I'm afraid if truth be told they got that attitude from me. I pointed that one out to myself...double ouch!
If you're a praying person reading this, please do so. I've been failing and floundering as of late. I need to start making home a place where Jim can enjoy being...make it feel like a home instead of a place full of constant stress and strife.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
The Sky is the Limit
There have been many times that I've felt guilty and lazy because I'm a stay at home mom. Not even so much because I'm a homemaker but because I don't do anything else. Most of my friends are stay at home moms as well. There's one main difference between them and me. Most of them home school and my other friend has gone back to college...all of which demands much of their time. I've often asked myself, "what do I do?" I don't home school, I'm not going back to school myself, heck I don't even volunteer my time or services anywhere.
I know that raising four kids is full time job but it however does leave time for other things. All my friends have four kids themselves and still have time for all they do on top of that. I don't have any inspirations for home schooling, or going back to school myself (as of yet at least). Lately I have been feeling a tug to offer what I can to those who do more then me...to serve others...to help support others.
How many times as mothers have we said to ourselves how nice it would be to every now and again have someone in our lives to help out. How many times have we envied those we see who have family close by that are evolved in their lives...in their children's lives...who are their to help and support them during one of the hardest and challenging times in their lives (which is the time in life of raising small children, heck even raising teenagers counts too).
I've felt for a while now how self absorbed I can be in my own life. God forbid if I have something on my calendar that I have to do. God forbid if I have something that requires an inconvenience on my part. That is not the heart of a servant or more important yet, the heart of Christ who was the greatest example of a servant.
I want to pull myself out of myself and be there for others who have fuller plates then I do...I want to become less self absorbed and more concerned with the difficulties and challenges others have to deal with...I want to fully give in to this desire to serve others.
I feel that God is calling me to help and support the calling He has on others lives. To serve...to help...to love and support them. That is my calling. God calls some to minister and calls others to minster to the ministers...make sense?
All this has been somewhat of a sigh of relief on my part. I had been feeling for a while that if I'm not called to home school, go back to school myself just yet, or work outside the home...then what the heck am I supposed to be doing?! There has been something missing since I've quit working and I believe that it's been the calling to serve unfulfilled.
It's time to open myself up to the needs of others...be less concerned with being inconvenienced or having something required of me. All my friends have an important role and job they've been called to do and it's my calling to help support them in their calling (that's alot of callings!)
I think about my one friend for just one example who is going back to school to be a school counselor. I think about all the children who are hurting so bad and I think about all the lives of those children that I know she is going to help and have an impact on. What better way to spend my time then to help support the calling of others.
The prayer I have for myself and my life is that God would open the doors that need to be opened for me to help...for me to give that well needed support...and yes at times that shoulder to cry on during times of discouragement and being over stressed.
By ourselves we can only accomplish so much but together, with someone having your back, the sky is the limit.
I know that raising four kids is full time job but it however does leave time for other things. All my friends have four kids themselves and still have time for all they do on top of that. I don't have any inspirations for home schooling, or going back to school myself (as of yet at least). Lately I have been feeling a tug to offer what I can to those who do more then me...to serve others...to help support others.
How many times as mothers have we said to ourselves how nice it would be to every now and again have someone in our lives to help out. How many times have we envied those we see who have family close by that are evolved in their lives...in their children's lives...who are their to help and support them during one of the hardest and challenging times in their lives (which is the time in life of raising small children, heck even raising teenagers counts too).
I've felt for a while now how self absorbed I can be in my own life. God forbid if I have something on my calendar that I have to do. God forbid if I have something that requires an inconvenience on my part. That is not the heart of a servant or more important yet, the heart of Christ who was the greatest example of a servant.
I want to pull myself out of myself and be there for others who have fuller plates then I do...I want to become less self absorbed and more concerned with the difficulties and challenges others have to deal with...I want to fully give in to this desire to serve others.
I feel that God is calling me to help and support the calling He has on others lives. To serve...to help...to love and support them. That is my calling. God calls some to minister and calls others to minster to the ministers...make sense?
All this has been somewhat of a sigh of relief on my part. I had been feeling for a while that if I'm not called to home school, go back to school myself just yet, or work outside the home...then what the heck am I supposed to be doing?! There has been something missing since I've quit working and I believe that it's been the calling to serve unfulfilled.
It's time to open myself up to the needs of others...be less concerned with being inconvenienced or having something required of me. All my friends have an important role and job they've been called to do and it's my calling to help support them in their calling (that's alot of callings!)
I think about my one friend for just one example who is going back to school to be a school counselor. I think about all the children who are hurting so bad and I think about all the lives of those children that I know she is going to help and have an impact on. What better way to spend my time then to help support the calling of others.
The prayer I have for myself and my life is that God would open the doors that need to be opened for me to help...for me to give that well needed support...and yes at times that shoulder to cry on during times of discouragement and being over stressed.
By ourselves we can only accomplish so much but together, with someone having your back, the sky is the limit.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Ridiculous Sounding
Have you ever had something happen that if you were to explain it or tell someone you just know they would give you that dumb stare back. There are certain daily rituals and also occasional things that happen in our lives that would cause such a reaction with people. My life is definitely full of things like that. So is my mom's.
For example (written in a southern Alabama accent) My mama's got two cats dat ur so fet dat she's gotta worsh thar be-hinds every udder day coz them too fet to do it thumselves. Every time thez hear dat thar wadder drawin and see mama comin with the worsh cloth theyz high tailz it as fast as thayz can waddle. Don't belive up til now I've ever hurd a cat purr and growl all at the same timez afore. Good thing us peoples has higher standards of livin udderwize dat would be inappropriate. That thar be a wurd I tuaght my children...i.n.a.p.p.r.o.p.r.i.a.t.e.
Anudder time I had a bardie and I named dat thar bardie, Bardie. I does believe I done did teold dis story already but I says it again. That thar bardie done did died one day so's my mama done did put dat thar bardie in a check book box and put him in da freezer just so's I could come up and says good bye to em. Dat plus the ground been to frozen to bury em and she thoughts to herself dat flushing em might not be the bestest of idears.
Which brungs me to anudder story. My mama done did get herself a new nickname...we'z be callin her Miss.Kitty and it ain't coz Marshall Dillon be sweet on her none. See's her septic system done did get plugged...and while she be waiting for the huney wagon to come and pump er out she done did get herself a bucket with sum kitty litter. Let's just be sayin dat them thar fet cats ain't the only thing she be scoopin after.
I has one more story and it's about my daddy...and it's why we call him Tator...welp, maybe's I'd better not...I'm probably in enouf troubles as it is.
Moral to my strories is I comes by it honest.
For example (written in a southern Alabama accent) My mama's got two cats dat ur so fet dat she's gotta worsh thar be-hinds every udder day coz them too fet to do it thumselves. Every time thez hear dat thar wadder drawin and see mama comin with the worsh cloth theyz high tailz it as fast as thayz can waddle. Don't belive up til now I've ever hurd a cat purr and growl all at the same timez afore. Good thing us peoples has higher standards of livin udderwize dat would be inappropriate. That thar be a wurd I tuaght my children...i.n.a.p.p.r.o.p.r.i.a.t.e.
Anudder time I had a bardie and I named dat thar bardie, Bardie. I does believe I done did teold dis story already but I says it again. That thar bardie done did died one day so's my mama done did put dat thar bardie in a check book box and put him in da freezer just so's I could come up and says good bye to em. Dat plus the ground been to frozen to bury em and she thoughts to herself dat flushing em might not be the bestest of idears.
Which brungs me to anudder story. My mama done did get herself a new nickname...we'z be callin her Miss.Kitty and it ain't coz Marshall Dillon be sweet on her none. See's her septic system done did get plugged...and while she be waiting for the huney wagon to come and pump er out she done did get herself a bucket with sum kitty litter. Let's just be sayin dat them thar fet cats ain't the only thing she be scoopin after.
I has one more story and it's about my daddy...and it's why we call him Tator...welp, maybe's I'd better not...I'm probably in enouf troubles as it is.
Moral to my strories is I comes by it honest.
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