Save For College or Future Therapy?

Ever feel as though you're screwing everything up? What's worse is do you ever feel that you're screwing up your kids?

Logan's only concerned with what's fun and has started being disrespectful. Yesterday I got a bag of M&Ms and split it between all of them for a treat. I put a small pile at each of their spots at the table. Situation controlled and contained, so I thought. Logan grabbed all his in his hand and was standing rather than sitting as instructed. His M&Ms started dropping and I said sit down with them. Yet I kept hearing that ping ding sound of them dropping on the table. After about four times of hearing those little suckers dropping and bouncing on the table I turned and said, "so help me if I hear just one more drop"! I watched him out of the corner of my eye and saw him take one, hold it about an inch above the table and drop it. I whipped my head around and told him to throw them away, he was done. He of course started to cry about it...he had to throw away his greatest love in this world...sweets. I asked him why he did it and he said to be a smart aleck. I then asked him if it was worth loosing his snack...he paused for about a minute and finally said no. I'm constantly telling him to do something and he waits until I'm going ballistic on him to do it. Where did my little boy who listened to me go? He thinks because he's turning 10 next month that he'll be a pre-teen. Well, he's certainly acting like one.

Deb was always so quiet and sweet. Very giving to her siblings and she's even changing into a strong willed spirit. She's started to roll her eyes when I tell her to do something and will lie when confronted with any bad behavior. She says she wants black hair with purple streaks. God please don't let my little girl turn into a british grunge rocker. Where did my sweet, always did what she was told little girl go?

Jeremiah as of late hasn't been giving me too much trouble, just mainly at clean up time. He's thankfully still at that I love you mommy and want to cuddle with you stage. I have more of a knack with younger kids then older ones who are starting to turn into people.

Now Evie on the other hand, if the Bible didn't specify that the anti christ will be male, I would be worried. She is evil. Well, evil might be a bit too harsh, but she is definitely naughty. Very naughty. I'm constantly having to make sure she doesn't wander out of my sight into another room. As soon as she knows mama's not looking...watch out. She's started to use the potty and on the back of the toilet I had a decorative candle thing with little stones in it. Key word is had. She flushed most of the little stones. An other time she went into the kids bathroom and got the bottle of conditioner and started squirting it all over the floor in the hallway. I heard this deep farting noise coming from back there and thought boy one of the kids is really ripping it up back there, but no it was her with that bottle. The hallway definitely smelled nice for a while. She makes me worried what's going to happen when she gets older. Maybe I'll get lucky and she's just getting her badness out now. I hope.

Having four little people has definitely been a challenge as of late. I've been growing very tired feeling and weary lately with all of them. How do I nip all this bad behavior in the bud? Is giving spankings and other punishments enough or am I missing something? I get very down when my kids display less than admirable traits. I feel like their future is doomed because of all this crap. Perhaps I'm expecting too much from these kids, perhaps I'm not expecting enough. Should I put the fear of God in them and turn into a military mom? What does God expect of me as a mother? Do I have any control over the way they behave? All good questions huh? Instead of saving for their college years I'm beginning to think saving for their future therapy they're going to need would be much wiser.

I'm screwing them up people!